12 March, 2016
23 Australian Foods That Americans Will Never Get To Enjoy
1. Fairy Bread
Despite the fact that it confuses the rest of the world, fairy bread is probably the food invention that we are most proud of. Basically grab a slice of white bread, spread with butter, and top with hundreds and thousands of sugar sprinkles. You can’t have a kids birthday party without a plate, but that’s not to say it’s not for adults as well.
It’s essentially a sponge cake coated in chocolate and coconut, sometimes with jam in the middle. You’d be hard-pressed to find a bakery in Australia that isn’t stocked with lamingtons, probably because they’re the best mid-afternoon snack around.
3. Tim Tams
Yes, they’re now available in a few places in the USA, but they just aren’t on the same level as Aussie Tim Tams. Though they do come in a range of flavours (shout-out to chewy caramel), we all know that original is always the best. Oh, and you haven’t lived until you’ve done a Tim Tam Slam.
Milo is basically malt powder to be mixed with milk, but don’t let that disgusting description fool you – Milo is the drink of the gods. It’s important to get the milk-to-Milo ratio just right. But when we were younger and Mum wasn’t looking, it was all about trying to heap as much Milo in as possible.
6. Iced Vovos
Here we have the perfect combo of marshmallow, jam, coconut, and biscuit. It was always an exciting day when Mum bought these home from the grocery store instead of the usual Scotch Fingers.
7. Golden Gaytimes
Ha ha, yes it’s a funny name. OK, now we’ve got that out of the way, Gaytimes is actually a very superior ice cream. The ideal blend of honeycomb ice cream with biscuit pieces, it’s the best thing to eat after a long day at the beach.
8. Vanilla Slice
Another snack you can find in any decent Aussie bakery, Vanilla Slices are light and creamy enough to justify having two. They’re done best with super-flaky pastry, but honestly, it works well no matter what.
9. Chiko Rolls
You can find them frozen at the supermarket, but the best Chiko Rolls come from the dodgy-looking takeaway shop on the corner. Essentially, it’s a deep-fried cabbage roll. That sounds disgusting, but honestly, you just have to trust us.
10. Cherry Ripe
Australia’s oldest chocolate bar is honestly still one of the best. It’s like a Bounty with cherries, but doesn’t suffer from the cherry flavour curse of tasting like medicine.
11. Party Mix
It’s pretty near impossible to get the ideal ratio of good lollies to crap ones, but no matter what, you end up eating the whole bag anyway. Either that or there’ll be someone near you to eat all the ones you don’t like.
12. Beetroot in Your Burgers
Guys. Guys. A burger is not a real burger without beetroot in it. Just imagine the cold tanginess cutting through the hot meat and the melted cheese. It’s straight-up perfection.
Fantales can be kinda dangerous to eat if it’s a bit cold, as you might lose a tooth or two. But if they’re soft enough, they’re so damn good. They’re basically just chocolate-coated caramel, but they come wrapped in celebrity trivia so you can quiz yourself while trying to unstick your jaw.
14. Sausage Sizzles
Yes, this is just a sausage in white bread with some onions. But what you really get from a sausage sizzle is the experience. Head down to your local Bunnings Warehouse (a hardware shop) on a Saturday morning, and enjoy a hangover-curing sausage sambo while sitting in your car with the door open, drinking a Solo or a Powerade. It’s the best.
15. Paddle Pops
Whether you favour chocolate, rainbow, or banana, there isn’t an Australian alive who doesn’t appreciate the beauty and necessity of a Paddle Pop on a hot summer’s day.
16. Cabanossi and Cheese Cubes
A family party really isn’t complete without a plate loaded up with processed meat, cheese and a handful of good old Jatz. Whether you eat them separately or stack them up into a tower is up to you.
17. Chocolate Crackles
Popularised by school cake stalls, chocolate crackles are the ultimate treat for anyone who doesn’t care how unhealthy a snack is. It’s literally melted fat, chocolate, coconut, and Rice Bubbles. So. Damn. Good.
While Shapes come in a huge array of flavours, pizza and barbecue are probably the best. It’s just a biscuit topped with flavouring, but you always knew it was going to be a good day when you opened up your school lunch box to find a bag. They’re also a great addition to a last-minute cheese plate.
19. Chicken Salt
Hot chips will never reach their full delicious potential without the addition of chicken salt. No one is really quite sure what’s in it, but it basically tastes like chickeny-flavoured salt? But there’s no chicken in it? It’s amazing.
20. Burger Rings
Burger-flavoured rings. Honestly, what’s better? Though you can’t really eat more than a pack of these without your tongue starting to taste funny, they’re still pretty good.
21. Bubble O Bill
Once you finish eating your delicious chocolate, caramel, and strawberry ice cream, you have a bubblegum ball to chew on. But only for about two minutes, until it loses its flavour. The novelty will never get old, though.
Passiona is fucking great. Whether you add it to a delicious alcoholic punch, or you drink it ice-cold from a can at a barbecue, the overly sweet passionfruit taste honestly cannot be topped.